Seems I Survived back cover.jpeg

 

Thank you to our families for their support and patience. Special thanks to Laina, Michael, Mason and Hiatt for putting up with the racket.  Thanks to Neil Carr, Stefan Rodriguez and Evan Cvejkus for their contributions to the development of these songs, and to John Woolf for his constant willingness to be a thoughtful sounding board.

 

Lyrics:

 

Scars and Enemies

 

I was going all the wrong directions
Making only bad connections
And I got an impressive collection of

Scars and enemies
Some who were best friends to me
And lovers who would never be
cause I could never get the nerve up
and shameful memories
of the mess I used to be
but that rough and tumble road led me to you
Too 


The path I chose is a field filled with landmines
I stepped on every one I could find
It goes to show you can’t trust fools like me
To handle any precious things
But with each contusion, from confusion came a clearer point of view
And every broken bone and drunken phone call taught me what not to do


I was going all the wrong directions
Making only bad connections
And I got an impressive collection of

Scars and enemies
Some who were best friends to me
And lovers who would never be
cause I could never get the nerve up
and shameful memories
of the mess I used to be
but that rough and tumble road led me to you
Too  


Tempting fate is great when you might win
That’s not the situation I’m in
I never could stay out of a game
Even though they always end the same 
A couple hundred stitches a dozen ditches
I could never seem to fill
Still I fill with pride that I survived some things that should have killed me.


So though I’m going all the right directions
and only need this one connection
I get to keep my collection of

Scars and enemies
Some who were best friends to me
And lovers who would never be
cause I could never get the nerve up
and shameful memories
of the mess I used to be
‘cause that rough and tumble road led me to you
Too 

If I Could Get You To Stay


If I could just get you to stay, 
I’d find some words I could say 
That could remind you of how I love you 
and that you love me
If I could get you to stay 
I’d spend my life on my knees
Cause I’m contrite, 
So please forgive me 
or everything might change


Because I’m afraid, 
If you leave me now 
The sun won’t shine any more
And the trees won’t grow, 
Nor the rivers flow
And the moon will lose its romance


But if I could just get you to stay, 
The whole world could be saved
At least I would and right now, baby, 
That’s good enough for me
But if you go away 
It’s not just me who will pay
Because we’re all in this together 
I believe God made it that way

 

And I’m afraid,

If you leave me now
The earth won’t spin any more
And the birds won’t fly, 
Nor white cat’s cry
And true love will lose its last chance


And I’m afraid,

If you leave me now
The earth won’t spin any more
And the stars won’t glow, 
Nor the cool wind blow
And true love will lose its last chance


And I’m afraid,

If you leave me now 
The sun won’t shine any more
And the trees won’t grow, 
Nor the rivers flow
And the moon will lose its romance

But if I could just get you to stay
If I could just get you to stay
If I could just get you to stay
The whole world could be saved

 

 

New Favorite Enemy

 

Betrayal's a familiar foe
I thought I had defeated 
But just like it did before
History repeated

And I thought I was well armed
But he came with an army
And weapons to tear out my soul
And lay it out before me

I got a new favorite enemy
This one really had it in for me
Got closer than a friend to avoid any hassle
When he walked through my door and he burned down my castle
Then complained that I had soot in my beer
Then gave me a kiss that made Judas seem sincere

I've got a fight on my hands
I've got cathedrals to build
But right now I can barely stand
And think I might be killed 

But I got love on my side
And motivation galore
And I have my sword and my shield
To help me win the war

With my new favorite enemy
This one really had it in for me
Got closer than a friend to avoid any hassle
When he walked through my door and he burned down my castle
Then complained that I had soot in my beer
Then he gave me a kiss that made  Judas seem sincere

Listen, new favorite enemy
You're on notice, you ain’t beating me
You got closer than a friend to avoid any hassle
Then you walked through the door and you burned down my castle
But you made one mistake, left my kingdom to save
So you'll end up face down in a  pissed on grave

 

Mechanic Of My Dreams

You can try to use me, but im broken  
I haven't worked a lick in three odd years
Others tried to fix me up, but they all left me to rust  
When they couldn't get me into second gear


But I admit you have some tools I've never  seen 
And  maybe you're the mechanic of my  dreams


You used to have to kick me and that would fix me  
But it turned out every time to be temporary
With the brake pads  turned to dust, there's no sense in shifting up  
And the way the engine's wired is downright scary

But you're certified on every know machine
And  maybe you're the mechanic of my  dreams

If you can try some new techniques, apply some oil where I squeek

And  you can find and fix some twenty leaks
And get my fuel injection clean but leave my paint job nice and mean
And find a replacement for my lost cowl screen

And help me hold my gasoline 
Maybe you're the mechanic of my  dreams. 

 

Now my meter light has gone from red to  green 
Maybe you're the mechanic of my  dreams.  

 

Sun Breakthrough

 

I’ve been hoping for a sunny day        
For so long I forget how to play        

 

I’m waiting for a sun breakthrough
It’s been a while since I’ve had you
I’m ready for the sunshine
I’m ready for the sunshine

 

I’ve had these hopes eleven times before  
I’ve won my battles, but rain and clouds the war 

 

I’m waiting for a sun breakthrough
I’m feeling warm and I have you
I’m ready for the sunshine
I’m ready for the sunshine

Shine, Shine   

I’m ready for the sun breakthrough
I’m ready for the sunshine  

I’m ready for the sunshine
I’m ready for the sunshine
           

Shine , Shine

 

 

Concert T's

 

Every time my baby folds my clothes for me, 
she asks "baby, why don’t you throw away your concert t’s
Some of them you’re not even allowed to wear
cause your worried they might turn to dust they're so threadbare "
I say, “what you may think is only ink and tattered thread
Are signs along the road that is this life I've led

 

And I’m still rolling on, so the shirts live on

 

This worn out number from "the boss" in '85 
A couple years before the day my brother died
I slept out with my two best friends for all our seats
While my brother spent the summer working at the beach
I've seen fifty Springsteen shows in the years since then
But that will always be the one I went with him

 

And my brother's gone, but the shirt lives on

 

And my first kiss was actually seeing Kiss after Peter Criss
I couldn’t like the show, but I sure liked the bliss
And the first time I felt love was at this Neil Young show
I’m still proud I found the nerve to ask Louise to go

 

Those loves are gone, but the shirts live on

 

But you're the only one who could get me to Train
And you're the only one who’ll ever share my name
So this one that I would never stoop to wear
Reminds me I’ll go anyplace if you are there

 

And our love’s still strong, so the shirt lives on


And when I die you can feel free to bury them with me
But if you go first I’m keeping yours on the bed where you used to sleep

 

And you might be gone but the love lives on
 

 

Blinders

 

I convinced myself to love you so many times
That I could never say I didn’t love you when you earned my ire
And I could never love you and I knew it
And I blew it so many times you headed for the door
And I couldn’t stop myself from stopping you before
You left me better off without you and free of all your strife
And I made you stay to tear apart my life

 

And I know I chose those blinders that I wore
Afraid to see what I knew was the score
And I wanted to believe, But now I know I’d rather see
And I’m not wearing blinders anymore

 

If you ever showed me kindness, you’d exact a fare
And when you held me tight, even in my blindness, I made my pockets bare
Cause if you wanted something you would take it
And I would fake it that I didn’t care cause all the kind was mine
And I made myself believe believing you were fine
Was enough to make it true but now I’m clearly seeing you
And now all my believing days are through

 

And I know I chose those blinders that I wore
Afraid to see what I knew was the score
And I wanted to believe, But now I know I’d rather see
and I’m not wearing blinders anymore

 

And I know I chose those blinders that I wore
Afraid to see what I knew was the score
And I wanted to believe, But now I know I’d rather see
and I’m not wearing blinders anymore

I wanted to believe, But now I know I’d rather see
And I’m not wearing blinders anymore  

I’m not wearing blinders anymore
 

Your Legacy

 

I hear a labored breath

I hold mine

I wish you had a zillion left

But I’m not blind

To the path before us

I can see the forest for the trees

I try hard not to show it

But where it’s going is no mystery

The road went up and down and around, but now it’s coming to an end

And I’m too tired from all this traveling for trying to pretend

So I’ll take care of you like you took care of me

And I’ll promise I’ll protect your legacy

 

Friends I thought were gone

Can stop by

Like an old familiar song

Stuck in time

But we could use a party

We can’t dance but we always loved to sing

And when the crowd is quiet

I have the chance to tell you everything

And every time I bear your weight I know the times I leaned on you

And when I look into your eyes I know how you can lift me too

So I’ll take care of you while you take care of me

And I’ll promise I’ll protect your legacy

 

 

Earle's Lament

In a motel room in Mississippi
Sits a man at his end
Loaded gun and sipping whiskey
And a life he can’t defend
He killed a girl in Oklahoma
Just because she wouldn’t do
All the things a woman wearing
That little dress aught to do

 

He was born in a trailer
And that was where he spent his youth
He tried to take Jesus as savior
But he couldn’t see the use
In '68, he joined the army
To become a man
In '69, came home to hatred
Cause he killed in Vietnam


So there he sits. Recalling history
Wondering when the Devil came
Emptied his heart, filled it with hatred
And a killer’s shame

 

To This Day

 

There was a week about a month ago
When I thought I might fall in love again
There was a day about four years ago 
When you were the last thing on my mind


You promised me a lifetime
I’ve lived a lifetime of pain
Each and every day since I’ve seen your face      

 

And
To this day, 
I wanna cry and wail in front of you
It turns out time don’t heal all wounds
Cause to this day, 
I’m bleeding from the lies you told
But I have to tell the truth
To this day I still love you

Looking through old letters
Some I wrote, but never sent
Makes me wonder 
Where all the years went
When even booze and drugs 
Can’t dull the pain
Sometimes I still wonder 
If I can make it through the day     

 

‘Cause
To this day, 
I wanna cry and wail in front of you
It turns out time don’t heal all wounds
Cause to this day, 
I’m bleeding from the lies you told
But I have to tell the truth
To this day I still love you

 

It’s goin’ on 18 hours
Since the clock began again
And I feel the same as the last time when

I could say


Yesterday, 
I swore I’d cry and wail in front of you
As it turns out 
Time don’t heal all wounds
Cause to this day, 
I’m bleeding from the lies you told
And I wished I could tell the truth

That to this day, 
I wanna cry and wail in front of you
It turns out time don’t heal all wounds
Cause to this day, 
I’m bleeding from the lies you told
And I have to tell the truth
To this day I still love you

   

Seems I Survived

 

It seems I survived
It’s not the first time
But I never waited longer
To find out if I’d get stronger 
Or I’d die
And I’m glad to be alive

Immune and unfettered
Ready to be better
Than before
To rebuild and re store
There’s more
To create and explore

 

Close calls, falls and pushing limits
And ignored flashing warning signs
Put me in danger for a minute
But “in it” 
Never took so long a time

 

But It seems I survived
It’s not the first time
But I never had longer
To sit around and ponder
If I’d die
And I’m glad to be alive

Counting all my blessings
Applying all the lessons
From the storm
Getting back into form
There’s more
To produce and per form

 

Mistakes, bad breaks, bad behaviors
Have sometimes served to isolate
But from this prison of my own fear
Its clear
Its finally time to liberate

 

'Cause It seems I survived
It’s not the first time
But I never waited longer
To find out if I’d get stronger
Or I’d die
And I’m glad to be alive

Immune and unfettered
Ready to be better
Than before
To rebuild and re store
There’s more
To create and explore